Jasmine Hart

I would write, but I have no idea what to do! Any ideas are welcome, and I'm sorry for my neglect!

I'm stuck. :( Help?

Brigid There was absolutely nothing of note to be seen. The dark waters surfed freely, and the odd seagull flew overhead, but other than that, all was still. I knew ...

Um...ok...I've hit a brick wall. Help? :?

That's a great tip, thank you! I'll have to give that a go.

Thanks Snoink. That's really good advice.

Hi. I'd never heard of this term, but I know that I definetely did it in my last piece, which was told from two viewpoints. Will have to bookmark this ...

Way to go Claudette! You rock. :)

It really is beautiful, and you've expressed yourself perfectly. As the others have said though, it is very short. I think it would be nice to try and expand it. ...

Fand makes some very good points, and I do think it would be interesting to scrap the rhyme for the next draft. As it is, I'll look at what you ...

Heehee. This was so fresh! It's hard to say anything very helpful as it's so short, but I would suggest giving "It's found in every Finnish home" a line of ...

Pretty :) It flows beautifully and I love how the story unfolds. Your imagery is very vivid. I especially enjoyed the second stanza, and "Collapsed cardboard dreams caved in." I'd ...

Lol. I liked this. I didn't expect the twist at the end, and thought that it was very effective. The flow was good, and your language is powerful. I think ...

It's nice. I'd change "lie" to "lies", and put a comma after "forgotten" instead of a full stop. I'd also put "I will fail to forget" onto a line of ...

Wow. Thanks! Two things at once? Might give that a go, it seems sensible...